According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 1 in 12 U.S. high school students experienced physical dating violence and about 1 in 12 experienced sexual dating violence during the previous year, based on national Youth Risk Behavior Survey data. The CDC reports that dating violence increases the risk of depression, anxiety, substance misuse, poor academic performance, and future intimate partner violence.
The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) conducted by the CDC has consistently shown that millions of Americans experience intimate partner violence during their lifetime, including violence that begins in dating relationships.
Dating violence is more than physical assault. It can involve emotional manipulation, threats, controlling behavior, financial control, stalking, digital harassment, sexual coercion, and isolation from family and friends. These behaviors often develop gradually, making them difficult to recognize in the early stages of a relationship.
Many people believe abuse only happens in long-term marriages or among adults. In reality, dating violence affects teenagers, college students, young professionals, military families, LGBTQ+ individuals, older adults who date later in life, and people from every cultural and economic background.
What Is Dating Violence and Abuse?
Dating violence refers to a pattern of behaviors used by one person to gain power or control over someone they are dating or have dated. Abuse may occur during casual dating, exclusive relationships, long-distance relationships, or after a relationship has ended.
Unlike disagreements or occasional arguments, abusive behavior involves repeated efforts to intimidate, manipulate, isolate, or harm another person.
The Office on Women’s Health (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) defines dating violence as physical, emotional, sexual, or digital abuse that occurs within a romantic relationship.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, communication, honesty, and shared decision-making. An abusive relationship centers on fear, control, intimidation, or coercion.
Dating violence may occur:
- During teenage relationships
- Between college students
- Among adults
- Within LGBTQ+ relationships
- In online relationships
- During long-distance dating
- After a breakup
- Between people who have dated only briefly
Abuse can happen regardless of income, education, religion, race, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
Dating Violence in the United States
Understanding the scale of the problem highlights why education and prevention matter.
According to the CDC:
- About 1 in 12 U.S. high school students experienced physical dating violence during the previous year.
- About 1 in 12 experienced sexual dating violence during the previous year.
- Some students experienced both physical and sexual dating violence.
- Female students reported higher rates of sexual dating violence than male students.
- Students identifying as LGBTQ+ often report higher rates of dating violence than their heterosexual peers.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that dating violence affects people of every age and background. Abuse frequently begins with controlling behaviors rather than physical violence.
Research has linked dating violence with:
- Depression
- Anxiety disorders
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Increased substance use
- Eating disorders
- Poor school attendance
- Lower academic achievement
- Workplace performance issues
- Increased risk of future intimate partner violence
Why Dating Violence Is a Public Health Issue?
Dating violence affects more than individual relationships. It has lasting consequences for families, schools, workplaces, healthcare systems, and communities.
Victims may require emergency medical treatment, counseling, legal assistance, housing support, or financial aid. Children who witness abuse may experience emotional trauma that affects development and future relationships.
Communities bear significant costs through healthcare expenses, law enforcement, court proceedings, lost productivity, and social services.
The CDC recognizes intimate partner violence as a preventable public health issue. Prevention efforts focus on promoting healthy relationships, teaching conflict resolution, supporting safe environments, and addressing social factors that contribute to violence.
Understanding the Cycle of Abuse
Many abusive relationships do not begin with obvious violence. Abuse often develops gradually through manipulation and increasing control.
A commonly described pattern is the cycle of abuse, which may include:
- Building tension
- Verbal threats or emotional abuse
- Physical or sexual violence
- Apologies or promises to change
- A temporary “honeymoon” period
- Return of controlling behavior
Not every abusive relationship follows this exact pattern, but many survivors describe repeated cycles that become more severe over time.
Promises to change may be genuine in the moment, yet lasting behavioral change typically requires accountability, specialized intervention, and sustained effort.
Types of Dating Violence and Abuse
Dating violence includes many forms of harmful behavior. A person may experience one type of abuse or several at the same time.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse involves intentionally causing bodily harm or using force to intimidate or control another person.
Examples include:
- Hitting
- Punching
- Slapping
- Kicking
- Pushing
- Shoving
- Hair pulling
- Biting
- Strangulation
- Burning
- Throwing objects
- Restricting movement
- Preventing someone from leaving
- Damaging personal belongings
- Threatening with a weapon
- Preventing medical treatment
Physical injuries range from bruises and cuts to broken bones, traumatic brain injuries, and life-threatening harm.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse attacks a person’s confidence, identity, and emotional well-being. Examples include:
- Constant criticism
- Name-calling
- Humiliation
- Public embarrassment
- Mocking appearance
- Insults
- Manipulation
- Blaming the victim for the abuse
- Gaslighting
- Threatening to leave repeatedly
- Threatening self-harm to manipulate a partner
- Silent treatment used as punishment
Emotional abuse often leaves no visible injuries but can have profound psychological effects.
Psychological Abuse
Psychological abuse focuses on controlling another person’s thoughts, decisions, and sense of reality.
Examples include:
- Making someone doubt their memory
- Convincing them they are “crazy”
- Creating fear through intimidation
- Monitoring movements
- Threatening family members
- Destroying confidence
- Isolating the victim from support systems
Victims may begin questioning their own judgment and become increasingly dependent on the abusive partner.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse includes any sexual activity without freely given consent.
Examples include:
- Forced sexual intercourse
- Sexual coercion
- Pressuring someone into unwanted sexual acts
- Refusing to respect boundaries
- Reproductive coercion
- Removing protection without consent
- Sharing intimate images without permission
- Threatening sexual humiliation
Consent must be voluntary, informed, and can be withdrawn at any time.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse limits a person’s ability to become financially independent.
Examples include:
- Controlling bank accounts
- Monitoring spending
- Taking someone’s paycheck
- Preventing employment
- Preventing education
- Creating debt in another person’s name
- Refusing access to financial information
Financial dependence often makes leaving an abusive relationship more difficult.
Digital Abuse
Technology has created new ways for abusive partners to monitor and control others.
Examples include:
- Reading text messages without permission
- Demanding passwords
- Tracking GPS location
- Installing spyware
- Monitoring social media
- Sending threatening messages
- Repeated unwanted calls
- Sharing private photographs
- Impersonating someone online
- Accessing cloud accounts without permission
Digital abuse can continue even after a relationship ends.
Stalking
Stalking involves repeated unwanted attention that causes fear or concern for safety.
Behaviors include:
- Following someone
- Waiting outside work or school
- Monitoring daily routines
- Repeated unwanted gifts
- Excessive phone calls
- Fake social media accounts
- Contacting friends and family
- Tracking through mobile devices
Stalking is a crime in every U.S. state, although laws and definitions vary.
Early Warning Signs of Dating Violence
Recognizing unhealthy behaviors early may help prevent abuse from escalating.
Excessive Jealousy
A partner becomes upset when you spend time with family, friends, or coworkers. They accuse you of cheating without evidence or demand constant reassurance.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, not surveillance.
Controlling Behavior
A controlling partner may try to decide:
- What you wear?
- Where you go?
- Who you spend time with?
- How you spend money?
- What you post online?
- Which activities you join?
- When you can leave the house?
Control often increases gradually over time.
Constant Monitoring
Examples include:
- Asking for your location every hour
- Expecting immediate replies to messages
- Becoming angry when you do not answer calls
- Demanding access to your phone
- Tracking your location through apps
Frequent communication can be healthy when it is mutual and respectful. It becomes concerning when it is used to monitor, intimidate, or control.
Isolation from Family and Friends
An abusive partner may:
- Criticize your loved ones
- Start arguments before family events
- Make you feel guilty for spending time with others
- Pressure you to cancel plans
- Encourage you to depend only on them
Isolation reduces access to emotional support and can make it harder to seek help.
Explosive Anger
Everyone experiences frustration, but repeated outbursts that involve intimidation, threats, or destruction of property are warning signs.
Examples include:
- Punching walls
- Throwing objects
- Breaking phones
- Driving recklessly during arguments
- Threatening violence
These behaviors can create fear even when no physical assault occurs.
Blaming Others for Everything
A partner may refuse responsibility for their actions and blame:
- You
- Their family
- Their employer
- Alcohol or drugs
- Stress
- Childhood experiences
Past challenges can influence behavior, but they do not excuse abusive conduct.
Love Bombing
Some abusive relationships begin with overwhelming attention and affection. This may include:
- Expensive gifts early in the relationship
- Constant compliments
- Pressure to commit quickly
- Statements such as “You’re the only person who understands me” after only a short time
- Attempts to move the relationship forward before trust has naturally developed
While intense affection is not always a sign of abuse, rapid idealization followed by controlling behavior can be a concerning pattern.
What Causes Dating Violence and Abuse?
Dating violence does not have a single cause. Experts agree that abusive behavior develops through a combination of personal experiences, learned behaviors, unhealthy beliefs about relationships, and environmental influences. While these factors may increase risk, they do not excuse abusive behavior. Every person is responsible for their actions.
Research from the CDC shows that prevention efforts are most effective when they address individual, relationship, community, and societal factors together.
Some individuals who use abusive behaviors witnessed violence while growing up, but many people with similar childhood experiences never become abusive. Likewise, many people who experience abuse in childhood go on to build healthy, respectful relationships. Understanding these contributing factors can help communities prevent violence before it starts.
Common Risk Factors for Dating Violence
Risk factors increase the likelihood that abuse may occur, but they are not guarantees that someone will become abusive or experience abuse.
1. Exposure to Violence During Childhood
Children who grow up in homes where violence, intimidation, or emotional abuse occurs may learn unhealthy relationship patterns.
Examples include:
- Witnessing domestic violence
- Experiencing child abuse
- Seeing frequent verbal aggression between caregivers
- Growing up in environments where controlling behavior is normalized
Early exposure can shape beliefs about communication, conflict resolution, and trust.
2. Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
Healthy couples disagree at times. Problems arise when disagreements are handled through intimidation, threats, insults, or violence instead of respectful communication.
People who have not developed healthy conflict-management skills may struggle with:
- Managing anger
- Accepting rejection
- Handling disappointment
- Expressing emotions constructively
Learning communication skills can reduce relationship conflict, although it cannot eliminate abusive behavior when someone intentionally seeks control.
3. Desire for Power and Control
Many experts identify the desire to dominate another person as a central feature of abusive relationships.
Control may involve:
- Dictating daily activities
- Limiting independence
- Monitoring communication
- Restricting finances
- Creating fear
- Isolating a partner from support systems
Abuse often continues because controlling behaviors achieve the abuser’s desired outcome.
4. Rigid Gender Stereotypes
Beliefs that one partner should dominate or control the other can contribute to unhealthy relationships.
Examples include beliefs such as:
- One partner should make every important decision.
- Jealousy proves love.
- A partner should always obey.
- Controlling behavior is normal in relationships.
Healthy relationships recognize equality, mutual respect, and shared decision-making.
5. Substance Misuse
Alcohol or drug use can increase impulsive behavior and reduce self-control in some situations. However, substance use does not cause dating violence. Many people misuse alcohol or drugs without becoming abusive, and many abusive individuals do not misuse substances.
Substance use may increase the severity or frequency of violence, but responsibility remains with the person choosing abusive behavior.
6. Mental Health Challenges
Conditions such as depression, anxiety, or personality disorders do not cause someone to abuse a partner.
Most people living with mental health conditions are not violent.
When mental health concerns exist alongside controlling beliefs or aggressive behavior, they may complicate relationships. Proper treatment can improve emotional well-being but does not excuse abuse.
7. Social Isolation
People with limited family support or few close friendships may become more vulnerable to controlling relationships.
Isolation can make it harder to:
- Recognize abuse
- Seek advice
- Leave safely
- Access resources
Strong community connections often provide valuable emotional support.
Who Can Experience Dating Violence?
Dating violence affects people across every demographic.
Victims may include:
- Teenagers
- College students
- Young adults
- Middle-aged adults
- Older adults
- Men
- Women
- Nonbinary individuals
- LGBTQ+ individuals
- Military service members
- Veterans
- People with disabilities
- Immigrants
- Rural residents
- Urban residents
Abuse is not limited by education, income, race, religion, or profession. Professionals such as physicians, teachers, engineers, lawyers, business owners, and healthcare workers can all experience abusive relationships.
The Short-Term Effects of Dating Violence
Dating violence affects nearly every aspect of a person’s life.
Physical Injuries
Physical abuse may result in:
- Bruises
- Cuts
- Sprains
- Broken bones
- Concussions
- Internal injuries
- Neck injuries
- Facial trauma
- Chronic pain
Some injuries require emergency medical treatment.
Strangulation is especially dangerous because it can cause serious internal injury even when there are few visible marks. Anyone who has experienced strangulation should seek immediate medical evaluation.
Emotional Effects
Victims often experience:
- Fear
- Shame
- Confusion
- Guilt
- Hopelessness
- Embarrassment
- Isolation
- Anger
- Grief
Many survivors describe feeling trapped between caring for their partner and fearing future violence.
Psychological Effects
Psychological consequences may include:
- Anxiety disorders
- Depression
- Panic attacks
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Difficulty concentrating
- Sleep disturbances
- Low self-esteem
- Emotional numbness
Some people begin doubting their own memories because of repeated manipulation or gaslighting.
Long-Term Health Consequences
The effects of dating violence often continue long after the relationship ends. Research has linked intimate partner violence with:
- Chronic headaches
- Gastrointestinal disorders
- Hypertension
- Chronic pain
- Sleep disorders
- Substance misuse
- Eating disorders
- Reproductive health problems
- Increased healthcare use
Mental health recovery may require counseling, social support, and time.
Many survivors rebuild healthy, fulfilling lives with appropriate support.
The Impact on Education
Students experiencing dating violence may struggle academically.
Common challenges include:
- Declining grades
- Increased absences
- Difficulty focusing
- Missed assignments
- Withdrawal from extracurricular activities
- School avoidance
- Increased disciplinary issues
Fear and stress can interfere with learning and memory.
Schools that provide counseling services and healthy relationship education can play an important role in prevention.
The Impact on Employment
Adults experiencing dating violence may face workplace challenges.
Examples include:
- Frequent absences
- Reduced productivity
- Difficulty concentrating
- Harassing phone calls at work
- Stalking near the workplace
- Financial instability
- Job loss
Some employers provide domestic violence leave or employee assistance programs (EAPs). Availability varies by employer and state law.
Teen Dating Violence
Teen dating violence is a significant concern across the United States.
Teen relationships often involve first experiences with:
- Romantic attachment
- Emotional intimacy
- Physical affection
- Conflict resolution
- Independence
Young people who have not learned healthy relationship skills may struggle to recognize unhealthy behaviors.
Why Teen Dating Violence Is Different?
Teenagers may:
- Mistake jealousy for love
- Believe controlling behavior is normal
- Feel embarrassed to seek help
- Fear losing their first relationship
- Worry about peer judgment
- Depend heavily on social media
Many teens experience abuse through digital communication before physical violence occurs.
Warning Signs in Teen Relationships
Parents, teachers, and caregivers should pay attention when a teenager suddenly:
- Stops spending time with friends
- Appears anxious after receiving texts
- Changes clothing to hide injuries
- Withdraws from activities
- Experiences declining grades
- Seems unusually fearful
- Gives up hobbies
- Receives hundreds of messages daily
- Becomes secretive about a relationship
These behaviors do not always indicate abuse, but they may signal the need for supportive conversation.
How Parents Can Help?
Parents can encourage healthy relationships by:
- Talking openly about respect and consent
- Modeling healthy communication
- Listening without judgment
- Avoiding criticism of the teen
- Teaching digital safety
- Helping teens recognize warning signs
- Encouraging independence and confidence
Young people are more likely to seek help when they believe adults will respond calmly and supportively.
College Dating Violence
College campuses bring unique challenges. Students often experience:
- New independence
- Shared housing
- Alcohol use at social events
- Long-distance relationships
- Increased online communication
These changes can create opportunities for healthy relationships, but they can increase vulnerability to abusive behavior.
Common Forms of College Dating Abuse
Examples include:
- Controlling social activities
- Monitoring class schedules
- Sexual coercion
- Digital harassment
- Financial manipulation
- Emotional abuse
- Stalking on campus
- Threats after a breakup
Some abusive partners use shared friend groups or campus organizations to continue harassment.
Campus Resources
Many colleges provide:
- Counseling centers
- Title IX offices
- Campus police
- Student health services
- Victim advocates
- Emergency housing
- Academic accommodations
Students should review available resources before a crisis occurs.
Digital Dating Abuse
Technology has transformed modern relationships. Healthy technology use supports communication.
Unhealthy technology use creates opportunities for surveillance and control.
Common Examples of Digital Abuse
An abusive partner may:
- Demand passwords
- Read private messages
- Install tracking software
- Monitor phone locations
- Require video calls to verify location
- Check browsing history
- Track purchases
- Access email accounts
- Control smart home devices
- Create fake social media profiles
Digital abuse often continues after a breakup.
Social Media as a Tool for Abuse
Social media may be used to:
- Spread false rumors
- Share private photographs
- Publicly embarrass someone
- Monitor friendships
- Pressure someone to respond immediately
- Harass through comments or direct messages
Online harassment can quickly spread to hundreds or thousands of people.
Understanding Cyberstalking
Cyberstalking involves repeated online behavior intended to intimidate, monitor, threaten, or frighten another person.
Examples include:
- Repeated unwanted messages
- Fake accounts
- Identity impersonation
- GPS tracking
- Email harassment
- Hacking online accounts
- Posting private information
- Sending threats through multiple platforms
Cyberstalking can occur alongside in-person stalking or physical abuse.
Technology Safety Tips
Someone experiencing digital abuse may consider:
- Changing passwords using a trusted device
- Enabling two-factor authentication
- Reviewing privacy settings
- Checking app permissions
- Turning off location sharing when safe to do so
- Updating security software
- Saving screenshots of threatening messages
- Contacting law enforcement if threats escalate
Changing digital settings may increase risk in some situations. A personalized safety plan developed with a domestic violence advocate can help identify the safest approach.
Recognizing Escalating Abuse
Abuse often becomes more severe over time.
Escalation may include:
- Increasing jealousy
- More frequent insults
- Greater isolation
- Financial restrictions
- Property destruction
- Threats toward pets
- Threats toward children
- Stalking
- Physical assault
- Sexual violence
- Strangulation
- Threats involving firearms
Escalating behavior should be taken seriously. Threats and intimidation can indicate an increased risk of serious harm.
Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships?
A common question is, “Why doesn’t the person just leave?” People may stay because of:
- Fear of retaliation
- Financial dependence
- Hope the partner will change
- Emotional attachment
- Shared children
- Housing concerns
- Immigration issues
- Religious beliefs
- Social pressure
- Lack of transportation
- Fear of homelessness
- Concern for pets
- Isolation from support systems
Leaving an abusive relationship can be one of the most dangerous times. Safety planning with a trained advocate can reduce risk.
What Does a Healthy Dating Relationship Look Like?
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, honesty, and communication. Each partner maintains their own identity while supporting the other. Disagreements may occur, but they are handled without threats, intimidation, or violence.
Healthy relationships do not require one person to control the other. Instead, both partners share responsibility for decisions, respect personal boundaries, and encourage each other’s growth.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
Healthy dating relationships typically include:
- Open and honest communication
- Mutual trust
- Respect for personal boundaries
- Shared decision-making
- Emotional support
- Independence and personal space
- Respect for privacy
- Equal treatment
- Accountability for mistakes
- Healthy conflict resolution
- Encouragement of friendships and family relationships
- Respect for consent in all physical interactions
Each partner should feel safe expressing opinions, setting boundaries, and making personal choices without fear of retaliation.
Healthy Communication Skills
Good communication reduces misunderstandings and strengthens relationships. It does not eliminate every conflict, but it creates a foundation for resolving disagreements respectfully.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening means giving your full attention when your partner speaks. Avoid interrupting or planning your response before they finish.
Helpful habits include:
- Maintaining eye contact if culturally and personally comfortable
- Asking clarifying questions
- Acknowledging emotions
- Summarizing what you heard
Express Feelings Respectfully
Use statements that focus on your own experience instead of assigning blame.
For example:
- “I felt hurt when our plans changed without discussion.”
- “I would like us to find a solution together.”
This approach encourages productive conversations rather than escalating conflict.
Respect Differences
Partners do not need to agree on every issue. Healthy relationships allow room for different opinions, hobbies, beliefs, and friendships.
Understanding Consent
Consent is a clear, voluntary, and ongoing agreement to participate in a specific activity. It applies to all relationships, including long-term partners.
Consent should be:
- Freely given
- Informed
- Specific
- Reversible at any time
- Mutual
Silence, pressure, fear, or intoxication do not equal consent. Respecting consent builds trust and reduces the risk of harm.
How to Prevent Dating Violence?
Preventing dating violence requires action from individuals, families, schools, workplaces, healthcare providers, and communities.
1. Teach Healthy Relationship Skills Early
Children and teenagers benefit from learning:
- Respect
- Empathy
- Emotional regulation
- Conflict resolution
- Communication
- Boundary setting
- Digital citizenship
Parents, caregivers, teachers, and mentors all play important roles in modeling healthy behaviors.
2. Encourage Open Conversations
Regular discussions about relationships make it easier for young people to ask questions and seek help if something feels wrong.
Topics can include:
- Respect
- Trust
- Consent
- Peer pressure
- Online safety
- Recognizing manipulation
- Seeking support
3. Promote Gender Equality and Respect
Communities that challenge harmful stereotypes and promote equality help create healthier relationships.
Educational programs that emphasize mutual respect, inclusion, and nonviolent conflict resolution have shown promise in reducing dating violence.
4. Strengthen Social Connections
People with supportive families, friends, coworkers, and community organizations often have more resources during difficult situations.
Strong support networks can reduce isolation and encourage earlier intervention.
Bystander Intervention: How Others Can Help Safely?
Friends, classmates, coworkers, neighbors, and family members may notice warning signs before a victim seeks help.
Safe bystander intervention focuses on reducing harm without putting anyone at greater risk.
Examples include:
- Checking in privately with someone who seems withdrawn or fearful
- Offering emotional support without judgment
- Sharing information about local resources
- Helping the person develop a safety plan if they request assistance
- Contacting emergency services when someone faces immediate danger
Avoid confronting an abusive person if doing so could increase the risk of violence.
How to Help Someone Experiencing Dating Violence?
Learning that someone you care about is experiencing abuse can be difficult. Your response may influence whether they feel comfortable seeking further help.
Listen Without Judgment
Allow the person to describe their experiences in their own words.
Helpful responses include:
- “I’m glad you told me.”
- “You don’t deserve to be treated this way.”
- “I’m here to support you.”
- “How can I help?”
Avoid criticizing them for staying in the relationship or making decisions on their behalf.
Respect Their Choices
Leaving an abusive relationship is often a process rather than a single event. The person experiencing abuse understands their situation best.
Support them by respecting their decisions while encouraging connection with trained professionals.
Help Connect Them With Resources
Offer information about:
- Domestic violence advocates
- Crisis hotlines
- Counseling services
- Legal aid organizations
- Medical care
- Emergency shelters
Professional advocates can help develop individualized safety plans.
Creating a Personal Safety Plan
A safety plan is a personalized strategy that helps someone prepare for dangerous situations and identify practical steps to protect themselves.
Every safety plan should reflect the individual’s circumstances, including living arrangements, children, employment, transportation, and communication needs.
Possible elements include:
- Identifying trusted friends or family members
- Keeping important documents in a secure location
- Saving emergency phone numbers
- Planning safe places to go during a crisis
- Packing an emergency bag if leaving quickly becomes necessary
- Teaching children how to call 911 when appropriate
- Discussing safe communication methods with trusted contacts
Safety planning is especially important when abuse is escalating or when someone is considering leaving the relationship, as this can be a period of increased risk.
Medical Care After Dating Violence
Anyone who experiences physical or sexual violence should consider seeking medical attention as soon as possible.
Medical professionals can:
- Treat injuries
- Document physical findings
- Evaluate for internal injuries
- Screen for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), when appropriate
- Discuss pregnancy prevention options, when appropriate
- Provide referrals for counseling and advocacy services
People who have experienced strangulation should seek prompt medical evaluation, even if they have few visible injuries, because internal damage can occur without obvious external signs.
Reporting Dating Violence
Some people choose to report abuse to law enforcement, while others seek support through advocacy organizations, healthcare providers, or trusted individuals.
Reporting options vary depending on the situation and the person’s preferences. Possible reporting avenues include:
- Local police or sheriff’s office
- Campus security or campus police
- School administrators
- Human resources departments, when workplace safety is affected
- Healthcare providers
- Domestic violence advocacy organizations
If someone is in immediate danger, they should call 911 or their local emergency services.
Legal Protections in the United States
Federal and state laws provide protections for people experiencing dating violence, although the specific laws and procedures vary by jurisdiction.
Protective Orders
Many states allow individuals experiencing dating violence to request a protective order (sometimes called a restraining order or order of protection).
A protective order may:
- Prohibit contact
- Require the abusive person to stay away from home, work, or school
- Restrict firearm possession in certain circumstances, as allowed by law
- Address temporary custody or other related issues, depending on state law
Eligibility requirements and procedures differ from state to state. Individuals considering a protective order may benefit from speaking with a domestic violence advocate or legal aid organization.
The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)
The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) is a federal law first enacted in 1994 and reauthorized several times since. VAWA supports programs that improve responses to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking.
The law provides funding for:
- Victim services
- Law enforcement training
- Prevention programs
- Legal assistance
- Housing support
- Campus safety initiatives
More information is available through the U.S. Department of Justice.
Workplace and School Considerations
Dating violence can affect attendance, concentration, and performance at work or school. Some employers and educational institutions offer:
- Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)
- Counseling services
- Flexible scheduling
- Academic accommodations
- Campus victim advocates
- Security escorts
- Changes to class or work locations, when feasible
Policies differ by organization, so individuals should review available resources or speak with a trusted administrator or human resources representative.
National Resources for Help
Several organizations provide confidential information, crisis support, and referrals.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support by phone, chat, and text.
love is respect
This organization focuses on helping teens and young adults build healthy relationships and recognize dating abuse.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline and provides resources for survivors of sexual violence.
Office on Women’s Health
The Office on Women’s Health provides educational information on healthy relationships, dating violence, and available services.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
The CDC offers research, prevention strategies, and educational materials related to intimate partner violence.
Key Thoughts
Dating violence and abuse can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, income, or background. Abuse is not limited to physical violence; it may include emotional manipulation, coercion, financial control, stalking, or digital harassment. Recognizing early warning signs—such as controlling behavior, isolation, excessive jealousy, or threats—can help people seek support before abuse escalates.
Healthy relationships are grounded in mutual respect, trust, open communication, and consent. Prevention begins with education, supportive communities, and promoting healthy relationship skills from an early age. For those experiencing abuse, confidential help is available through healthcare providers, trained advocates, legal aid organizations, and national support services. Reaching out for assistance is an important step toward safety and recovery.
FAQs
What is dating violence?
Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used by one partner to gain power or control over another person in a dating or romantic relationship. It can be physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, or technology-facilitated.
Who can experience dating violence?
Anyone can experience dating violence, including teenagers, college students, adults, older adults, and people of all genders, sexual orientations, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Is emotional abuse considered dating violence?
Yes. Emotional abuse is a recognized form of dating violence and may include insults, humiliation, intimidation, threats, manipulation, or efforts to isolate a partner from friends and family.
What should I do if I think a friend is experiencing abuse?
Express concern in a private, supportive way, listen without judgment, avoid blaming them, and encourage them to connect with trusted resources such as a domestic violence advocate or healthcare provider. If you believe someone is in immediate danger, contact emergency services.
Can technology be used to abuse someone?
Yes. Technology-facilitated abuse can include tracking someone’s location without permission, demanding passwords, monitoring online activity, sending repeated threatening messages, or sharing private images without consent.
Where can I find confidential help?
Organizations such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, love is respect, and RAINN offer confidential support, information, and referrals through phone, chat, or online services.
